[I have typed these out but feel Bryony and Jackie’s work needs to be uploaded in it’s original form. Punctuation and form are a crucial part of self-expression, and to edit or tweak their creative efforts myself would only take away from them. A website isn’t normally the best representation of these raw artisan, so I have included my attempts below. Please forgive any artistic license! – Matt.]
Making Progress
Your still here regardless
and those challenges go on
You’ve overcome the worst of them
Survivals made you strong
You’ll question every motive
from others old and new
And you’ll analyse every memory
with a different point of view
Some days your invincible
others just a wreck
healing is a process
like a walk becomes a trek
Those mountains will get smaller
but still take you by surprise
3 steps forward 2 steps back
Now done with open eyes
Past trials have empowered you
if you remember to reflect
And slowly life gets easier
from your vantage point, aspect
Karma
My heart was full of courage
Alcohol inspired
I sent that Facebook message
As my child so desired.
That night of carefree, happy thoughts
I’d finally been strong
Crashed down to earth with sunrise
realisation, I’d been wrong.
Fear and panic overwhelmed me
What if he came round
I became that helpless being
Who’s silence gave him ground.
My childishness annoyed me
I’m no longer 9 years old
One moment standing tall + strong
How had I been so bold.
I looked back with trepidation
To find that I’d been blocked
My words had had an impact
And his cosy life was rocked
Now I carry on divided
As an adult that’s been wild
but I recognise the strength it took
That night to voice my child.
Remember life goes on regardless
I’ve some turmoil left unspoke
To my inner self some difference
Small courage is no joke.
Purpose
Thinking thinking overmuch
my mind has gone too mush
My reason for existing
Lost in that thinking crush
Till this moment, just a half life
Lived happy to extreme
Fighting inner demons
The world just saw my dream
And suddenly awakening
There must be more than
Than challenge after challenge
Waiting deaths long final kiss
So now I’m on a mission
To discover the new me
Someone I never was before
No judgements, set me free.
I’m sure I have a reason
A tale that I can tell
to give courage to some others
on that dark trip out of hell
Trying Again
Your sure you have it sorted
Supressing all those fears
Kicking panics restless butt
holding back your tears.
You bounce along quite happy
As light shines on this day
positive smiles, momentum
It’s a game we all must play.
Your coping with this project
You’ve set yourself this task
Your out, about and dealing
Life cannot shread this mask
You know that you can do this
Determination on a high
then a minor blip will throw you
And your confidence will die
Sheer determination
resolve will get you through
but digging deep to find it
Seems just too much for you
Past memories of triumphs
no recall at the time
This panics far too potent
In lives like yours and mine.
But afterwards a moment
You remember times before
When you overcame this crisis
And you knew you could do no more.
Reflections + Recollections
Shadows on the water
Steam that filled the air
droplets falling in the bath
It feels like I’m not there
I look down upon this picture
not a teardrop in my eye
A numbness had enveloped me
No strength to even cry.
So like a stringless puppet
I complied with every move
Not thinking of a single thing
No voice to disapprove.
The bathroom light was glareing
but the darkness welcome made
It swallowed up my wholeness
left my body as a slave
Vulnerable in every sense
without the will to care
I wanted him to kill me
but I knew he wouldn’t dare.
And so this process carried on
I motioned every day
Wishing I’d be found out
too ashamed to say.
